My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
