yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
