If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
