So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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