so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
