dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
