and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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