More tranny stories later!
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
