omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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