hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
