you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
