watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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