...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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