Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
