Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
