I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
