i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
