its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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