physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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