One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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