Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
