its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dicks are not precious.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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