it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
