I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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