Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
