Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
