His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
