scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
