If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
