I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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