I hate all girls vehemently.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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