so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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