sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
