You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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