Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
