Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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