I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
