I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Who died my cat blue again?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
