1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
