he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
