They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
