And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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