Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
