You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
