His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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