So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
