your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
