Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
