you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
