Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
