I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
