i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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